Getting all philosophical about endings

I remember getting on my bike as a junior in high school the day after basketball season ended in a loss. Uncharacteristically, I was feeling good, and suddenly had all the time in the world. It was cold, but I could feel spring, the snow had melted, and I was looking ahead to a summer and then senior year. Despite the pain and sadness of the loss the night before, somehow it had occurred to me that the sun really did come up no matter what and it gave me an optimism and joy that I don’t often remember feeling. I remember rounding the corner near my house and the tire on my ten-speed hitting the accumulated sand that had run off against the curb and I almost wrecked. To this day, I remember smiling at the idea that I was feeling good but the sand in the road could easily bring me down if I didn’t pay attention.

This Tuesday night, I stood in forty degree weather and rain as I watched my son finish out the high school football season. They got beat, and the season ended. For some I’m sure it feels like the world ended, and as we each bring our own frame to the experience I don’t want to minimize it, but for me I was reminded of seasons ended almost twenty years ago and the fact that the sun does come up tomorrow. I think the new lesson I might be learning is that one of the keys is to have joy in the season.

I thought about this more as I read about the New Kids On The Block on a reunion tour. The reviewer from the Star Tribune said they were great, and the other day on the way home I heard “The Right Stuff” on the radio for the first time in a decade. It reminded me of the pep band playing the first few bars of that tune as the announcer called my friend Vince’s name during our senior year of basketball. Vince hated the New Kids, and I remember him grimacing up at the band. It makes me laugh now. Twenty years later, the New Kids aren’t any better musically, but they are fun. After listening, I also realized I can no longer make fun of my daughters musical choices of Hannah Montana or High School Musical. Sure, Bob Dylan writes with more meaning, U2 is deeper, and Jimmy Buffet is a poet, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to just hum along with a catchy tune.

I guess that is what I mean by enjoying the season. Two decades later, I don’t remember the crushing feeling of losing, I remember what happened during the season, and I remember the people who went through it with me. I remember the look on Vince’s face, I remember Mike eating more than should be humanly possible at McDonalds, and I remember Justin in the back of the bus laughing. There are a few plays I remember, but I remember more about what shoes everybody wore than what the scores were.

The sun does come up after the season is over. That’s the first part of the lesson, and two decades later I’m beginning to realize that learning that lesson just leads to an even better one to live fully in the season, and embrace the team, family, and friends around you.

Shameless Self Promotion: Part III

This is the final chapter of the book I'm going to post to my blog. I'll take requests for the remainder, but in this day and age of intellectual property it probably doesn't make sense to post the whole thing. So, here Chapter Three. As I was creating that link I was thinking hard about a joke about intellectual property as an oxymoron, but I can't seem to come up with it.

Good weekend to all and to all a good night.

Shameless Self Promotion Part II

Today, I posted the second chapter of the book I just finished writing to the web. It can be found here. The first chapter can be found here. I would really appreciate any feedback. It will be a slow rewrite, but I have a little momentum now.

Human Trafficking Thoughts

Every once in awhile an issue rises above political wrangling, personal ideology, and theoretical constructs because we can agree; this is just wrong. On Thursday this week I had such an experience at the University of St. Thomas Law Journal’s symposium on human trafficking. I also had the experience of being shamed, and that’s not a bad thing.

The symposium gave attendees a lot to think about, particularly from the remarks of Norma Ramos one of the cofounders of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women. In discussing her rejection of the term “sex-worker” she asked the simple question when did sex become work, and do we have to live with the commoditization of everything? Is human sexuality something to be traded on and with? In her talk and as part of a panel later in the day Ramos draws clear lines between a “porn” culture, prostitution, human trafficking and abuses that I cannot even bring myself to write about.

This issue of ending the sex-trade in all of it forms really does rise above political points of view and gets at something we may have already lost, the dignity of each human being as a person. Norma Ramos is a card carrying liberal of great pride and accomplishment, but what I heard her talking about are the very things that the right should be caring about and talking more about. This is not an issue of first amendment, this is an issue where we look at the degradation of the individuals involved in the sex trade, and the devastation to the communities in which we live and we have to ask ourselves simply, “Is this something that any reasonable society should live with?” Again, Ramos makes a powerful point here. She took the examples of theft and murder, and pointed out that no society has ever said that theft and murder and going to happen so we should just figure out how to regulate these things.

It is a Christian point of view that looks at a society and cares for the most vulnerable, and here is a place where we are clearly failing miserably. Beyond just the Christian, for a long time people have been told that to speak up against pornography in any form is to be a prude, to reject a reasoned approach to life, and to infringe on the rights of others. Yesterday, Norma Ramos gave me permission to get over that.

I have two daughters, and when she gave the example of a parent holding a young child and the dreams that go through a parents head of what that child will become: doctor, lawyer, missionary, on that list no parent ever thinks “prostituted person”. So today I’m coming before my God and asking myself, why I would ever support or watch something that I would make me angry, sad, or disappointed in what I had accomplished as a parent if I see my child in it?

There is room for broad agreement on this issue. We have sold enough of our dignity. The solution for me personally is not in legislative action outlawing obscene material, it is the simple act of looking at movies, television shows, advertisements and the flood of media in my eyes and saying, that is someone’s child and a child of God.

Shameless self promotion

In a bit of shameless self promotion I am posting the first chapter of the most recent book I've written here as a pdf. I have a couple of goals. One is that, I'm having a tough time doing the rewrite. I tend to be more interested in the next book, than in doing the hard work of rewriting the book that is in process. So, I'm partly interested in knowing if the first chapter is interesting enough that anyone would like to read the next chapter. At any rate, my goal is to have the rewrite done by Christmas. My goal was to finish the first draft by August, and I made that, so maybe part of middle age is getting more done.

On a more exciting front, Cole is starting for the Royals J.V. team today as they take on our arch rivals the Tigers. I'll take Cole's cool new camera and hopefully have some good pics.

A note for all expatriated Montanas. If you want to really miss Montana check out the Montana Standard online. There are probably better papers in Montana, but as far as the flavor of the state goes it's hard to beat that one. I've put a link in the left hand navigation to their blog page and I recommend Pat Ryan in the sports department. I try to avoid Foley when possible, but sometimes I miss Montana enough I'll even read his stuff.

Time to restart

It's time to restart the blogging, but I think I'm going to go quiet at first. I'm thinking about going ahead and posting some of the chapters of the book that I have just finished writing, abut I'm not sure about that either. What I do know is that there are a lot of things that I'm pondering, and getting them out in a written form seems to help.

For the first post in over a year, I hate to say that I'm going to have to cover middle age and the increasing revelation that I have entered into with both feet. The bottom line is that I really don't mind. Here are my top 10 signs that I have entered middle age:

1. I'm often a passenger in my car because my 15 year wants to drive
2. I'm living with three women (wife and two daughters) who all criticize my fashion choices
3. I look forward to the commute home and National Public Radio
4. Lawn care is high on my priority list and it irritates me when the grass is too long
5. I'm pretty sure I'm not the smartest person in the room anymore
6. God is less vengeful
7. I've lost all but one grandparent
8. I avoid arm wrestling my son because I'm afraid I might lose
9. I have no illusions that if I quit shaving my head it would grow back
10. I have friends who are Elks, Shriners, Rotarians, and part of other "old guy" groups

If anybody has any thougths on that book idea let me know.